


geography / anatomy

by picht



Category: Cyberpunk Red, Polygon/McElroy Vlogs & Podcasts RPF
Genre: First Kiss, Five Times, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nonbinary Character, Oh wait, Other, Self-Esteem Issues, Sickfic, Songfic, Tenderness, Time Skips, Trans Character, in the loosest sense of the term, minor homophobia, nonbinary vang0 bang0, once again im uploading after no sleep. will add more tags if i think of them later, soft burger chainz, thembo vang0 bang0, they/them pronouns, was gonna be a five times thing but i couldn't think of a fifth time dlkfgjldfk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-29
Updated: 2019-10-29
Packaged: 2021-01-08 02:26:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21228257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/picht/pseuds/picht
Summary: and the first words out of my mouth would be / how obvious it is to me / that this is real and this is good / yeah, this is real and this is good--The first time Vang0 Bang0 mentions kissing Burger Chainz, Burger thinks it’s a joke. Burger has just found the final piece of the virtual puzzle they’d been working on and Vang0 says, “I couldkissyou right now, Burgy.”





	geography / anatomy

**Author's Note:**

  * For [hyacinthos](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hyacinthos/gifts).

> SLAPS BURGER CHAINZ BIG OL METAL HIMBO TIDDIES YOU CAN FIT A LOT OF PROJECTION IN THIS BAYBEY
> 
> hello! once again i've been up all night. i also wrote the final like, 2 parts, in the past 30 mins. so if they're like way worse in quality than the rest thats why, but its scorpio season and i'm apeshit and i don't care enough to fix it if that is the case!
> 
> this was originally going to be a whole, like, 5 times vang0 kissed burger + 1 time burger kissed vang0 thing, but i miscounted the number of scenarios i came up with and then put off completing it for like 2 weeks cuz i couldn't think of an extra scenario so i just decided to say fuck it and change it around a bit, so instead of that it's just a weird pretentious pseudo song fic. the song is geography / anatomy by plain speak, which is a really good smaller known local band i love (yes they ARE emo, similar in sound to death cab for cutie/midwest emo, so even though no one knows who they are this totally counts as sticking with my emo lyric title thing).
> 
> i feel like there's probably other things i would normally wanna say here but i can't really think of anything cuz i'm quite sleepy! this is dedicated to michael cuz he wasn't comf reading my last vang0chainz fic cuz of the explicit content (totally understandable). Hey bro wats up -bert

**the first words out of my mouth would be**

The first time Vang0 Bang0 mentions kissing Burger Chainz, Burger thinks it’s a joke. Burger has just found the final piece of the virtual puzzle they’d been working on and Vang0 says, “I could _kiss_ you right now, Burgy.”

Burger Chainz laughs, because he’s not really sure what else he’s meant to do. Vang0 maintains weirdly intense eye contact for far longer than Burger would personally consider polite. Burger continues to laugh, because he is still not really sure what else he’s meant to do. “_Oh_,” Vang0 Bang0 sighs out dramatically, batting their eyes. “To kiss a Burger Chainz all my own. The dream, babez.” Burger looks away, but continues his strained laughter, trying not to think too hard on the statement, nor let it show on his face exactly how badly he's failing at said not thinking.

“No one wants to kiss ‘ol Burger Chainz,” he says, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. “Could chip a tooth on this thing.” He gestures loosely towards his jaw, as if to prove his point.

Because Burger knows, okay? He’s stupid. Not too bright, mostly fists and metal at this point. He’s had a coupla’ brain kerfuffles, thinks he’s mostly weird fleshy bits and weird metaly bits and not much else these days. And he knows that he ain’t much to look at, or much to talk to. And Vang0 is cool. Kind of weird, maybe. Difficult for Burger to follow, sometimes. But cool. So there’s no reason that Vang0 Bang0 would wanna kiss Burger Chainz for real. It’s just a joke. A funny joke, except--

“A small price to pay for a Burger Chainz kiss,” Vang0 says with minimal hesitation, staring up at Burger so intensely, eyes weirdly squinted like they’re trying to communicate with Burger Chainz telepathetically, or whatever. And Burger still doesn’t know what’s actually going on. Vang0 is difficult for Burger to follow _a lot_ of the time, apparently. He tries to laugh again, tries to ignore the weird metaly taste in his mouth (it happens sometimes--usually when he’s nervous, though he has no reason to be nervous right now, ‘cause it’s not like anything’s happening other than a bit of jokes between two good pals. Some good ol’ fun between bros, some--), but then Vang0 is darting up and placing the weirdest, fastest, noisiest sloppiest wettiest kiss on Burger’s chin, and then darting away and saying something about his _Vang0 Babez_ loud enough that it nearly distracts Burger from the weird, jarring, alarming, terrifying (_incredible, righteous, holy, terrifying_) feeling of moisture from Vang0’s slimy lips on his metal jaw.

Nearly loud enough, but not quite; Burger misses most of Vang0’s following rant about their streaming platform oppressing their themb0ness for not allowing them to share ass pics because he can’t stop replaying the past three seconds in his head over and over (not like it matters much anyway. Burger can never tell if Vang0 is being serious or just messing with him). He doesn’t comment on it, though, just nods along like the good, supportive dude pal he is while he tries to steady his rapid heartbeat. _It’s not like it matters much anyway_\--

Burger can never tell if Vang0 is being serious or just messing with him.

**how obvious it is to me**

They do it randomly, now, Vang0 Bang0--out of nowhere, popping up to press soft, fast, pecking kisses to Burger Chainz’s jaw, and cheeks, and neck, and shoulders. Sometimes they kiss his knuckles. One time, on the road, they had thought he was asleep in the back of the van and the kiss they had pressed to his brow had been so soft, barely there, and that was the one that had confused Burger the most, because why would they insist on keeping the joke up like that when they had thought he wasn’t even aware of them doing it? Burger Chainz has learned by now not to question too deeply anything Vang0 Bang0 does, though, because if he thinks too hard about them in general he tends to get a donkey worthy headache--but even with his experience dealing with Vang0’s antics, it can be difficult sometimes.

They’re sitting in a corner booth at some random Off-The-Highway diner in the middle of the night. Dasha is sprawled all along one side of the booth, but this is fine, apparently, because upon witnessing her do this, Vang0 had decided to simply crawl into Burger’s lap on the other side where the man had already been seated. Their back against the wall--boney ass in Burger’s lap, vaguely chicken-like legs crossed regally at the ankle taking up the rest of the space on their side of the booth--they have been brushing their hair for twenty minutes.

“It’s, uh--” Burger starts to say, and then pauses, weirdly nervous the way he has been ever since that first sneak kiss attack. He’s not normally a quiet person. He’s not particularly tactful, and he rarely thinks before he speaks (he’s never understood why people seem to like him so much). But something about being close to Vang0 makes him feel like if he speaks too loudly or too rashly, something terrible may happen. Vang0 shows no recognition that Burger has spoken beyond a soft hum and the gentle wiggling of their toes visible through the fabric of their pink socks, having taken their shoes off roughly two seconds after settling down. Burger tries again. “Is it necessary for you to, uh, do that? Right here? Right now?” _Right here in my lap where the steady cascade of your hair is falling all over me because you shed like a dog_, he doesn’t say, because he doesn’t want to seem mean. Not to Vang0 Bang0.

Vang0 pauses in their rhythmic brushing for a moment to make eye contact with Burger, then continues the long, repetitive motions. “Yes,” They say, with a dead look in their eye. It makes Burger nervous. Then they break into a weird, crooked grin and start giggling, and this just makes Burger even more nervous, except--

“Get a room, homos,” some random dude says from across the diner. Despite the late hour, he’s not the only other patron in the place. No one says anything in their defense.

Burger’s initial reaction, as is often the case when confronted with unexpected situations, is anxiety and anger. He wants to say something, but he doesn’t know what to say. He’s never been particularly good with his words. If this were happening several months before, he’s sure it would end with someone’s head smashed in the alley out back (and that head would not be his). The longer he spends with Vang0, however, the more the metal nomad in him has seemed to make way for the squishy fleshy farmboy underneath. He’s been trying to be better, because--because Vang0 makes him _want_ to be better. So he pushes that aggression response back and instead directs that energy into squeezing his fists to relieve tension, not even fully realizing that he has his hands on Vang0’s body and is squeezing their thighs tight till they cover his hands with theirs gently, stroking a thumb across each of his knuckles, which is just--

Burger Chainz pushes that observation out of his mind because he doesn’t know what else to possibly do with it, and instead directs his attention towards Dasha, whose soft face is unusually thundercloudy. She looks like she’s about to get up and say something to the man, but before she can, Burger feels Vang0’s spindly hand cup the side of his face.

“I will do whatsoever I please wheresoever I want with whomsoever I choose, sir,” Vang0 says, and Burger is so impressed by the big words that he doesn’t realize that Vang0 has pulled him into a kiss till their lips are touching fully and Vang0 has both hands framing Burger’s head.

This kiss is--this kiss is _different_, from the others. It’s the first kiss on the lips they’ve shared, and as such, it’s the first kiss they’ve shared that Burger is actually capable of reciprocating. Not that he’s planning to, because he knows that Vang0 is only doing this to prove a point, wouldn’t be doing this if it weren’t for that man, but also he doesn’t even fully process himself pressing forward, bit by bit, angling his head this way then that, till he’s already done it and can’t take it back. But Vang0 doesn’t freak out. Vang0 doesn’t jump back or run at the feeling of Burger’s metal bits, cool against their own face. Instead, they sigh into the kiss, angle their head the other way so their lips slot together just a bit easier, and then keep that position for several moments, rubbing their thumbs across Burger’s temples and breathing into him before pulling back.

When Burger looks, the man is gone; surely intimidated by Vang0 Bang0’s unreasonable prowess, or otherwise mortified by the image of such a lithe, handsome person willingly locking lips with someone of Burger Chainz’s stature. They’re dead silent for several moments, Burger trying to regulate his breathing and hide how heavy it is, Vang0 seemingly not caring about their own heavy breathing, before Vang0 smiles real big and says, “I didn’t chip a tooth, Burgy!” Burger Chainz feels warm in ways he doesn’t know how to process.

“Perhaps not, but you did get heckled for being too gay,” Dasha says, in a tone that Burger now recognizes as a joke, even if it's one he doesn't really get, because Vang0 had not been actually being gay, surely. She’s smiling.

“A small price to pay for a Burger Chainz kiss!" Vang0 replies cheerily. He’s looking intensely at Burger once more, the way he does sometimes like he’s trying to say something without Saying It. He doesn’t seem like he’s joking. He doesn’t seem like the kiss was a joke to him. Burger Chainz feels like he’s not fully in his body.

He can never tell when Vang0 is being serious or just messing with him, but he's too afraid to ask either way.

**that this is real and this is good**

So they kiss sometimes now.

For real kissing. Kissing like Burger thought maybe he’d never get to really experience. Languid kisses swapped in the dark, small pecks stolen when they’re driving, sometimes… deeper… kisses, when no one is watching (these kisses, Burger can’t think about for too long, or else he starts feeling things he doesn’t fully know how to process).

Vang0 is always the one who initiates it; Burger still isn’t even sure what’s going on. Maybe it’s selfish, for him to not question it, nor bring too much attention to it. Maybe Vang0 doesn’t _realize_\--that Burger is a mess, that everyone thinks he’s some brutish beast, that maybe Burger _is_ just some brutish beast--maybe Vang0 doesn’t realize, and so maybe Burger should say something so that they understand the implications of them kissing Burger. But Burger doesn’t want to. He’s content to take what Vang0 gives him, not questioning it, not doing anything that may break the spell, just receiving whatever Vang0 Bangin’ morsel he can.

Vang0 is always the one who initiates it, except this time, they can’t.

A job had gone wrong. This isn’t normally too big of a deal, because Burger Chainz is almost always the one who pays, and that’s fine; ever the big one, ever the angry one (ever the one in the line of fire, ever the expendable one). But this time it had been Vang0 in the line of fire. And so now they _can’t kiss Burger Chainz_.

He tries not to let himself desire it--the kissing--just tries to go with the flow when he can. No point trying to understand anything Vang0 Bang0 does. But right now Vang0 is bundled in bandages and Burger _desires_ it, to know that they’re there, to know that they’re safe, even if maybe it isn’t his place to do so because their relationship isn’t really Like That. Now, he desires it, and they can’t give it, and--

“I lived, bitchez,” Vang0 says from their spot on the cot, glancing around the room at Burger and Dasha and the clinicians (the z is audible). Their eyes settle on Burger Chainz and their performatively cocky smirk transforms into a chastised grin that Burger has to look away from. “Bitchez and Burgy, that is.”

The bandages around their head are comical--hardly anything visible aside from their eyes and lips, mustache framed in a way which is particularly dreadful--and they keep trying to pick them off when they think the doctor isn’t watching. “Stop that,” Dasha says after the fifth or so attempt, swatting Vang0’s far from sneaky arm back down to their side. Vang0, for their part, heaves a suffering sigh and then sticks their arms out toward Burger Chainz, where he’s been quietly leaning against the wall. “C’mere, big boy,” They say, making grabby motions in his direction. It’s the thing that finally forces him back to the present from where he’d been in his head, replaying the incident that had landed Vang0 here over and over. “Vang0 Bang0 wants a cuddle.” Burger Chainz smarts, feeling the blush travel down his face till it reaches the edges of his lower jaw and can no longer go further. He makes his way over to Vang0 anyhow, though, trying to ignore the way he feels everyone else in the room stare at his clumsy steps. He’s learning he can’t really say no to Vang0. He’s learning he’d maybe do anything for Vang0 (the guys who hurt them learned that too), except--

“Kiss me,” Vang0 demands, but Burger just--he just-- “Kiss meeeeee,” They whine, and then repeat themselves over and over when Burger fails to react. But he can’t react. He’s frozen in his spot standing at Vang0’s bedside, because somehow it had never really occurred to him that maybe Vang0 _wants to kiss him_. “Kiss me kiss me kiss me kiss me--”

“I can’t,” Burger says, without even really meaning to. Even under their bandages, Burger can see the inquisitive, slightly hurt expression on their face; the way that they want to ask _why_ he can’t.

The thing is, Burger can’t explain to Vang0 why he can’t kiss them. At least not now. At least not here, surrounded by people who make him uneasy. Vang0 doesn’t press, though; instead they surge up from their cot to plant a comically sloppy kiss on Burger’s lips (right there (in front of everyone)), exclaiming, “_Ah, funk!_” on their way back down into their seat at the way their pulled muscles twinge.

Doctors (and Dasha) begin pushing Burger aside in the next moment to check on Vang0 and make sure they haven’t somehow injured themselves beyond repair. Burger just lets it happen, swept up in the way Vang0 is staring right at him with a look in their eyes like they’ve seen every single little deep dark piece of him. It’s terrifying. Burger wants to _kiss them_. He just can’t figure out if that’s a good thing or not.

**yeah, this is real and this is good--**

Vang0 Bang0 can’t cook too well.

Burger Chainz can’t do _many_ things too well, but he’ll always be that poor farm boy at his core, and one thing he knows better than most is how to navigate a kitchen. However, this doesn’t mean too much for him when he’s too ill to stand. He usually cooks for them on the nights that they spend in each other’s presence (which, at this point, is most nights), but he hasn’t stood up from his sofa in thirty-six hours except to use the restroom, and he can’t see that changing any time soon.

“You good, baby cakes?” Vang0 says from the other room, voice raised so they can be heard over the concerning sounds of cooking utensils being utilized for certainly nothing good. Normally Burger’s anxiety about protecting himself and his home and his they friend (_they friend, not theyfriend, Dasha_) would be enough to make him stand up to investigate and ultimately take over whatever terrible thing Vang0 is attempting to whip up, but he’s so ill all he can do is stare at the ceiling and grunt in response.

“That a yes?” Vang0’s head peeks out from around the corner, brow creased in concern. They look like they’re sweating. Burger is _so_ worried.

“Guess so,” Burger says, ‘cause there’s not much else he feels he can do. He doesn’t want Vang0 to worry about him--doesn’t see why they would feel the need to.

“Sweet.” They grin at him through a curtain of silver hair. Burger Chainz can hear something boiling from the kitchen. He hopes they go check on it soon; instead, they begin marching over to his place swaddled up in every blanket they could find in his apartment. There’s still a spatula in their hand, good god. “Anything I can do for you, honey bunches of oats?” which is some old, obsolete breakfast cereal, apparently. Vang0’s been on a kick about nicknames like that lately, because they’ve decided to become a hipster, whatever that means. It’s just what they tell Burger late at night sometimes after a couple hits of the stuff they love, but which gives Burger a migraine.

_You could go check on whatever is going on with the stove_, Burger Chainz doesn’t say, because he doesn’t want to hurt Vang0’s feelings or be rude. He can’t think of anything else to say, either, though, so he just shrugs a little helplessly as he watches Vang0 walk towards him rather than back into the other room.

Vang0 walks steadily forward till they’re stood in front of Burger. When they lift their arm up like they’re about to use their hand to feel for his temperature, they realize they still have the spatula in their hand. They just toss it on the floor, even though Burger knows it’s the only clean one.

They just--really, _really_ don’t know how to cook. But when they’d arrived at Burger’s place to find him laying face down on the bathroom tile looking dead, they’d insisted on moving him to the couch and cooking him soup. The thing is, Burger Chainz isn’t even sure Vang0 Bang0 actually knows what soup _is_.

There’s just certain things, though, that Vang0 really insists on doing themself. Taking care of Burger in these instances is one of them. Burger Chainz knows it probably has something to do with whatever is up with Vang0’s #origin #story, but they don’t seem too keen on talking about it, and Burger isn’t really one to push--already bewildered enough by this fragile little thing they have going on, too nervous that if he acknowledges it too explicitly it’ll all break apart. So he lets Vang0 do these things and he pretends he’s not scared they’re going to burn down his entire building, and he eats exactly half of whatever they make, because even though it’s never good, he’s certainly had worse, and the thought of hurting their feelings makes him want to scream into his blanket cocoon.

Vang0 steps over the spatula like it’s nothing, and like they’ve forgotten they were ever cooking anything in the first place, in order to rest their weight gently on the small piece of couch not taken up by Burger’s body and card their fingers through his hair. “Lookin’ kinda rough there, killer,” they say. The smile on their face is one he’s never seen directed at anybody but him. He has to look away after a few moments.

“Thanks,” Burger says with zero irony, and then, “I’m sick.” Vang0 giggles.

“Yeah, I know, babez. ‘Sa good thing I’m here to take care of you,” They respond, and lean down like they’re gonna kiss him, right there on his lips even though they could get _sick_, and he feels his heart stop a little because that’s what his heart does any time he realizes that Vang0 Bang0 is about to kiss him, and they’re inches away and Burger thinks, _a good thing, it’s a good thing, this is a good thing_, and then--

The fire alarm goes off.

(_and the first words out of your mouth, i hope_

Against all hope, Burger Chainz says the words first.

He doesn’t mean to let them slip, it’s just that Vang0 is all wrapped up in an unbelievably silly sheer pink robe with fur trim after doing a self care stream while Burger had watched from the corner, and their head is tipped back against the couch with cucumber slices on their eyes and _everything_, and every day when he looks at them it gets harder to look away, and--

“I love you,” he says, and then wonders if he can blame it on his traumatic brain injury, somehow, except

_will teach me what i used to know_

Vang0’s head shoots up so fast that the cucumber slices go flying. Their face is lit up with the stupidest smile Burger has ever seen. It’s that smile that Burger knows, that Burger _recognizes_, and

_that sometimes these things can work out, yeah_

“On god?” Vang0 asks. “God herself? I love you, too, Burgy!” Which is just--

_sometimes these things can work out_

They’re grinning huge and scrambling up, tripping over their robe in their haste to run across the room and jump into Burger’s arms. For the first time, when Vang0 Bang0 kisses him, Burger Chainz doesn’t worry about anything but the feeling of their lips on his.)

**Author's Note:**

> anyway hey i changed my tumblr url again so u can find me on there @ bocaburgerchainz come talk to me about disabled/mobility aid user burger chainz . goodbye himbos thembos and herbos. hope yall enjoyed >:3 . i am going to go corral my gf into our bedroom cuz he is passed out on the couch and then maybe try to sleep for a few hours even tho i told myself i was gonna tough out the sleeby in order to try to hard reset my fucked up sleep schedule, now


End file.
